Dear 10-year old Jeza,

          Hey there, little one! It feels strange writing to you from the future, but I have so much to tell you. Right now, you love eating sweets whenever you feel lonely. You spend your days listening to music and watching your favorite cartoon. You dream of being a famous singer someday.

          Life will throw some challenges your way, but I want you to know that you’ll get through them. One day, you’ll realize that everything happens for a reason and that you can’t force the thing you want to go to your way.

          I know you’re scared of being judge by the grown ups, but trust me, you are stronger than you think. One day, you will make yourself proud and you will finally feel the empowerment they took from you as a little kid. You will slowly achieve all your dreams like being an actor in a theater play. You will play the role of a disney princess, that is your dream right?

          Keep being the wonderful, curious, and kind person you are. I’ll see you in the future, and I promise- you’re going to be just fine.

With Love,
Grown up Jeza

“Never Lost”

“Never Lost” became my life’s song as a devout Christian. I can claim that this song was my anthem for life since I listen to it every day to feel the unconditional devotion of my source of strength whenever I’m having self-doubt about anything that needs to be done. I sense loyalty, love, and miracles that seem impossible but happen because nothing is impossible with the Lord, therefore singing this song gave me peace of mind.

I thought my life had no purpose at the time, and I was constantly doubting my direction.  Because I was unable to sense others around me, I believed they would always abandon me.  However, the song “Never Lost” made me feel how true love is—loyal and unchanging.  The love that remains constant and will never abandon me in any stage of my life.

I was raised in a home lacking of affection. I wanted to tell my family how I felt, but I was unable to.  However, the song “Never Lost” gives me a hug unlike any other.  The embrace that provides me with the warmth I need in the midst of chaos.  This song helps me deepen my relationship with God and brings me serenity.

The love that the Lord has for us sinners is unmatched by anything else.  Even the most impossible things occur in his name, which is quite astounding.  Living with the Lord brings us joy and surprises we never would have imagined.

There is nothing like the Lord’s unfailing love.
In times of chaos, it reassures us that His hand is still at work. It will accept you and give you a sense of worth. And because the Lord holds our hearts and has a lovely plan for them, we will never be lost, exactly like the song “Never Lost.” This song also leaves a message that we have nothing to worry about, because God is always in control.

White is a dove,
A light that I always want to see before my life ends,
A blank paper shining through innocence.

White is peace,
White is calmness,
White is the warmth that cuddles my heart through all the darkest colors.

White saw me weak,
White speaks to me,
White is the swaying flag I raise.

White is the taste of silence,
White is the softest pillow I hugged,
The soft hush filling the air.

White is the flag I hold in my hand,
White is my sanity,
White is the memory I carry, forever mine.

I don’t know much about writing-at least, not in the way people expect. For me, writing is like learning a dance trend on tiktok. It begins with self-doubt because it appears extremely difficult to perform and learn based just on the dancer’s moves. But as I continue, I notice that It’s not too difficult, especially if I focus and learn the dance steps one at a time. Writing feels like this because writing is actually not that hard as we practice our writing skills and master the framework step-by-step.  Sometimes, it’s hard, but in the end, when learning something, concentration and perseverance are essential to achieve success in writing.

Seeing couples along the street tying their lover’s untied shoelaces, makes me envious every time. It crossed my mind that someday, I will have my own person to tie my shoes and make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. As a girl who is always getting her shoelaces untangled, I want the experience that kind of love. Because for me, it’s sweet, and it simply makes me feel loved.

Receiving this kind of care makes me comfortable as a human. Because one of my top love language tiers is acts of service. Furthermore, I think that when someone genuinely loves you, they will show it by their actions, and not only by words.